So Hard Not to Think About You

I know it's hard
To rise everyday
Knowing you're dying
Knowing it's the decay
Of long lost memories
That haunt your sleep
Long lost happiness's
One you wanted to keep
Believe me I know
The pain of a broken heart
God, it hurts so bad
To be torn and ripped apart
Without a hint of mercy
From crying eyes and
Screaming lungs and
Ear piercing cries
I don't blame your dspise
But, God, I'd deny truth
Just to tell him my soul
Crying out for his love
I'd say it no matter the toll
For life can be worse than death
If there isn't an ounce of love
Because life just isn't life
If there isn't someone to be thinking of

I Know It's My Fault But...

If only I could scream the words
To lull you back into my arms
To bewitch you with voodoo
Or overtake you with charm
I'd scream the incantation
To take away this pain
Or search forever hating
The syllables of your name
I'd pack my bags
And move the hell out of here
Just to make you follow
Make you wish I were near
because I'm the only one
who is in the wanting here
Your heart's broken is mended
While mine's quivering in fear
Please, give me the book
With the words to your soul
Let me make you realize
I'd pay any toll
To hold you just on more time
To have you love me
Like you said you did
Put me out of my misery
Don't say love
If you really mean like
Don't say forever
If you only meant that night
Don't give me a promise
If you won't forgive
Don't tell me anymore
Just let me live

Take all my happiness

Dear love
you take all my happiness
and throw it away
leaving me in utter lonlines
why do I love you?
When I can barely stand you?
everything you say
leads me astray
from the joy
I once held so dear
I destroy
my reflection in the mirror
I hate you
why do I have to
put up with
all the crap you put me through
you take all my happiness
and throw it away
leaving me in utter lonliness
why can't you stay
I only want to love you
I only want you to need me
I only want you to hold me
I only want you to love me
Dear love
I'm leaving you here
while I fly away
Dear love
you're breaking my heart
tearing me apart
tears start
and I'm falling
drowning
screaming
Dear love
I'm leaving you
you take away all my happiness and throw it all away
leaving me in utter lonliness
leaving me to decay

Please Turn Around

Am I going to miss you
For the rest of my life
Show you details of depression
With scars left by the knife
I'd used to slit my throat
After those words I said
And didn't realize: too late
They'd already made you mad
And now every thought
Is another stab at my heart
Every time I close my eyes
I almost fall apart
Now every smiling couple
Are mocking eyes
Every song is about you
Making me realize
That it's over and done
And I've lost you completely
That there's no hope
You're sailing opposite of me
On your way away from me
So far you're a dot
In the horizon of life
Losing all I've got
Letting you sail out to sea

My Tears Not Yours

Tell me that everything's all right
that this is all but Poe's
"A Dream within a Dream"
a nightmare my evil deeds sew
and scream at me about
all the things I've done wrong
complain these tears aren't mine
that I'm supposed to be strong
enough to fight tears off
to put on this play
where life is everything
those goddamn fuckers say
and tell me not to cut
these pains away with a knife
preach to me about
the worth of my life
I just must hear your side
where life is a fairy tale
and all jokes put aside
I hope my heart will fail
I've been through more shit
then you could ever know
and you just dong get it, sis
so just leave me the hell alone